Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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