This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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