After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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