u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
