she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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