Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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