we're blogging at a bar
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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