When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize