if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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