I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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