I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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