Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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