# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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