Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
