No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
