So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
