I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
