He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
