K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize