Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
