I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
