Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize