people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
there is puke in my bra ... again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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