You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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