Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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