took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
