i think i have herpe
just one?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
