How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
