I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
