But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
