Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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