i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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