So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
