Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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