I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
