why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
