Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
