I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I sprained my soul last night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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