isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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