He told me they were just razor bumps!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize