What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize