do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
