Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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