it's not cheating when I paid for it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
