I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I could fuck to npr.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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