i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize