"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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