she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Floor bacon is actually really good
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
