I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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