Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
