dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
