my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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