My nipple is on Facebook.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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