So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize