I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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